you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
