Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
