is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
