The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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