Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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