You're completely useless in the revolution.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
