I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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