she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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