I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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