Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
