Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
