Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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