He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
