right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
