woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
