How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
