...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
