8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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