You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize