currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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