He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
