Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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