We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
