You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You need a sexual gate keeper
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
