I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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