New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
