i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ladies don't puke and tell
These tits shall not be calmed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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