It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
