your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The air taste purple.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
