That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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