you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
