Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
