we're blogging at a bar
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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