Sponge bath it is.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
