When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize