Grow some girl-balls and come out already
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
