Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
