HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
