Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
