Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
