those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
