Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
...so i touched it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
