I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We need to get me chipped asap
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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