I'm passing your future prison.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
