We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize