Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
