So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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