She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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