Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i scared a bird with my dick
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
