And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
