dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
