her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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