I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
