Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
