I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
