Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
