She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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