Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
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I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I love having hate sex.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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