I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
