Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
