I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
