a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
