I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
