That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
