Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Semen is not good for contacts.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
