Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize