I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize