I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
