so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
